In my Dreams
by secret passion75
Summary: What happens when fiction and reality colided? That's what Margret Steward is going to find out. Margret is trying to rejuvenate her boring, hum drum soccer mom life and remember who she used to be. She begins writing a story based on a what if scenario but as she writes her life starts to change. Is the story inspired by reality or is reality inspired by the story?


**In My Dreams**

CHAPTER 1

Just breathe. I can hear my heart racing, feel it thumping so hard against my chest. I need to calm down. But what if he says no or he's busy or doesn't even pick up? What if I have invented this whole scenario in my head and I am the only one in this "relationship"? I picked up my cell phone and held it to my chest. I closed my eyes and took a breath. In through the nose, out though the mouth…isn't that how you should breathe to calm yourself? I think I read that somewhere. I opened my eyes and flipped open my cell phone. I still had a flip phone; I refused to fork over the money for the latest flat screen model. I wanted one desperately but could not bring myself to buy it.

I pushed speed dial #4 and it started to ring. Oh God, this is dumb. This is going to blow up in my face. I was sitting on the edge of my bed and found myself gently bouncing in a nervous reaction. Please don't pick up…

"Hello"

He picked up, crap. I jumped up, I could hear talking and the clink of glasses in the back ground. He was obviously in a restaurant. With friends? A woman? He was not going to come. He was eating, he had plans. Just make up an excuse and forget it. You're going to get hurt. This was a dumb idea.

"Jack, it's Maggie" That's all I could stumble out. I felt my head getting light. What was I doing?

" Maggie, Hey." He had a strange hesitation in his voice, I couldn't pin point it. Was I bothering him? The background faded away and I could hear him much clearer now.

"Hey. I was…" I took a breath. "I need to talk to you. It's pretty important; I can hear you're busy so maybe…" He cut me off

"I'm not busy, we can meet at your place?" He said with certainty. I wasn't expecting that. I was quite for a few seconds. I was in shock and had no idea what to say next.

I forced out an "OK" and hung up. No good bye, no I'll see you soon, just ok and a dial tone. Nice, now he'll think it's business or I'm just rude.

I walked back into my bedroom and flopped down on the edge of my bed, the phone was in my lap. I looked down at it. "What just happened? Where did that come from?" I said out loud like I was asking for an answer. I looked around my room. Was it presentable? Was there anything embarrassing lying around? I walked over to the mirror and took a good look at myself. I stared hard. I felt something come over me, a want. A want for change, for a different kind of life and want for Jack. "Ok Maggie, gut check time, you called him, he's coming over, this is what you wanted. You can sit in on Friday nights reliving conversations you had during the week, dissecting every conversation for hidden meaning or we can get this straight. Is there or is there not something between you." I took a deep breath and considered calling him to cancel. NO! Let's do this. Let's take a chance for once and this time I'm betting on me. If this blows up in my face then fine, I'll go back to the way things were, the way I was. But I need to know.

For the next 20 minutes I was a crazy woman. I decided that I was going to give myself a way out. I put out some cheese and a bottle of wine to make the surroundings more casual looking but I also put on a sexy black sundress with matching black lace Bra and panty set after my shower. This way I was prepared either way. I was thanking myself for keeping up with the monthly visits to Erin. I tried to cancel once. No one had seen my personals in months so I didn't think it was a big deal. She said "just because you don't have a picnic on the grass doesn't mean you don't have to mow it." That always stuck with me. I'll have to thank her.

I heard the buzzer and froze. I slowly walked over and felt numb, I was so excited, nervous, scared and overwhelmed that I think my body just short circuited. I stared at the buttons and my eyes flipped between the talk and unlock buttons. I decided to just press the unlock button to let him in since I had no saliva to speak with in my mouth anyway from nerves. I ran to the coffee table and took a sip of wine. That should help. Hopefully I didn't just let in some bum or burglar.

I went back to the door and did a half hearted fluff of the hair, I had skipped washing it since it takes forever to dry. I looked in the mirror and rolled my eyes at the black curly mess on my head. It's too late to do anything now. I grabbed an elastic from the keys bowl by the door and rolled it up into a sloppy bun. There was a knock at the door and I didn't get to check if the bun turned out sexy, frumpy or cleaning my floor-ish.

"Here goes" I said to encourage myself. I put my hand on the knob and took a deep breath. As I exhaled I felt a quiver in my knees. "Tonight will either be life changing or I'll be looking for a new place to live" I smiled, turned the knob and opened the door.

I tried to open the door nonchalantly but in my nervous state my size 10 feet got in the way and the corner of the door caught my right big toe. The pain shot right into my face and my eyes started to water. I tried to play it off, I don't think I was doing a great job.

I hid my foot behind my left calf, trying to rub my toe on it. Sweet baby Jesus what is wrong with me? I just had to be cool for one evening. The throbbing settled and I tested putting pressure on it behind the door. Toe is better now, moving on.

Jack was standing in the door way, he was beautiful as usual. Blond wavy hair, inviting blue eyes, normally he had a charming but semi-cocky smile, tonight he looked really intense. Why wouldn't he? Some girl has interrupted his dinner and his plans, I was sorry I did this. I could smell his cologne that basically said he was a Greek god and I should be honored to be in his presents. I was honored. He was in the same clothes he wore to work, obviously he had not been home yet. I realized he had been standing there for a few moments and snapped back to reality.

"Hey Jack, come on in." I opened the door wide and turned around to walk to the coffee table. My heart was pounding so hard that I was positive he could hear it across the room. I picked up a wine glass and the wine bottle and started to pour the wine, my hand was shaking so bad that I stopped pouring at about a third of the glass in fear of spilling it.

This was it, as soon as I turned around I would be expected to say something. In my crazy woman state I hadn't planned this far. What was I going to say? Maybe I could tell him I was having some issues at work and needed some direction, ya, that could work but what issues? Maybe, co-workers? No, that would make me look anti-social. A budget issue? But who wants to talk about the budget on a Friday night? Great, what was I going to say? I looked down at the glass and what I was wearing and it was obvious what this meeting was about. I felt a wave of defeat and embarrassment rush over me. I'm just going to come clean and hope he doesn't laugh at me or tell the entire office about this and what a fool I am.

Defeated and embarrassed I spun around to come clean. I stared at the wine glass as if not meeting his eyes would save me from making eye contact and the humiliation." Look Jack, I'm sorry if I interrupted your night. This was…" I looked up from the glass to find him very close to me, so close I could feel his breath on my cheek. I looked up into his eyes and the intensity in them had grown, that's not all that had grown, I could feel something brushing my stomach.

He stepped even closer and grabbed the back of my neck and waist, pulling me into him and I was right, there was something poking into me. This was surreal, I felt myself relax into his grasp. What was this a bad romance novel? But I couldn't help it. It was like my body had been waiting for him for years and now it was home. I could feel every inch of my body singing for him, my very cells seemed to be screaming for him like an addiction I never knew I had. I had never reacted like this for a man before. Never. My mouth watered and my breath got heavy.

"Wha…what are you doing Jack" I staggered out. I don't know why people ask that when they already know the answer, I knew what he was doing but I wondered why.

He reached up and took the elastic out of my hair. Black curls fell down my back, over my shoulders and over his hand.

"I have wanted to do that for eight weeks, you always wear your hair up, I've been wanting to take it down since the first day I saw you" He was examining my hair, following the strands falling down my neck and then his eyes met mine. I had to fight the urge to look away but even if I wanted to I don't think my eyes would have obeyed.

"Really?" I said softly and slowly like if I had said it any louder I would have made him realize he was a fool for thinking it. I could feel my face screw up into a question, it was done before I could avoid it.

"There are other things I have wanted to do" he said coming so close to my mouth that if I reached my tongue past my lips I could have flicked him with it. He ran his lips past my lips and over my cheek to my ear "would you like to know what they are?" he whispered directly in my ear, I could feel his lips brushing my ear as he spoke. His warm breath ticked the inside of my ear.

"YYYes" I said with a small shaken voice. I dare not move, I just let him do what he wanted. I let myself sircome to this dream and I would enjoy whatever came. Even if it ended now I would wake up with a smile. This had to be a dream.

I felt him take his hand away from the back of my neck and sweep my hair way from the ear he was speaking into. I felt a tiny flick of tongue on my ear followed by warm breath. The breath traced down just below my ear, I felt a firm lick of tongue start at the base of my neck and trace up to the bottom of my ear, kisses followed that path back down to the base of my neck over to my shoulder.

Oh god I was melting, craving. I could feel an ache between my legs, an actual needing pain. Every moment he wasn't inside me was agony. It was as if a monster of want had been released and he was the only one who could tame it. I reached up and grabbed and hand full of blond beautiful wavy hair and moaned again pushing his head into my neck. His mouth became hungrier and more aggressive, finding its way to the strap of my sundress. His hand reached up and started to slip the strap off my shoulder kissing my shoulder as the strap fell.

"I had this whole speech prepared" I said in between moans and gasps, he had such a wonderfully tricky tongue. Thing were getting serious now, I could feel his other hand come up from my waste and pull down my other strap.

"What difference would it have made? It was going to end up the same way" he said kissing my neck and pulling down the other strap so that the only thing holding up my dress now was our bodies being pressed together.

He knew, he knew this was going to happen when I called, I wasn't imagining us, the flirting, the sexy smiles, there was something.

I lifted my head a pulled back to look at him, he stopped kissing my neck and looked into my face. My mouth started to water, my insecurities were abandoned and never wanted anything more in than this moment in my entire life. I smashed my mouth into his with a hunger I have never known, he responded by grabbing my head with both of his hands and into my hair making sure I could not pull away from him again. Our tongues were intertwined and feverish grabbing and pulling started. I fumble with the buttons on his vest, I got two undone before the third refused to budge, without hesitation he reached down and tore the last button off, flipping the vest off. His muscles rippled through his shirt as if begging to be released on me. Well, ok. Who am I to keep a beautiful muscle behind a shirt? I undid enough buttons of his dress shirt for him to get it over his head and lifted it as he raised his arms. I let my hands glide over every inch of his torso. He was so beautiful. His face matched his body, perfection. What would he think of me? A flutter of insecurity went thought me but it was quickly squashed but the ache between my legs besides there were no big surprises. I can see my hips and ass with clothes on, he knew they were there and with that I let him pull the dress down. He did it with so much authority that I let out a giggle, a stupid 22 year old girl giggle. Oh well, the power he showed was supersexy and really nice to know how much he wanted me. Mmmm and he wanted me. Without thinking about it my leg went up and my knee rested just under his firm and tight rear, he grabbed under my thigh and brought it up higher and me in closer to him. Our kissing became more intense, almost desperate. I grabbed his ass hung onto him. He was mine and I wanted him to know it.

"Wait, wait" I panted. I was gasping for air. "I want this to last" I looked up at him. He was breathing heavy and panting. "I want to enjoy this, let's slow down"

"What? Wait? What?" He was panting and his brain did not have as much oxygen as it normally does, if you know what I mean…

"No, no more waiting" he was shaking his head "Maggie, we have had eight weeks of foreplay and I can't take anymore" Jack was always an extremely confident guy, he was the kind of guy that commanded a room, men wanted to be his friend and women, well…

But as I looked at him he seemed to have a look of desperation, not just because he had an enormous hard-on and wanted some help with it but because he really needed to be with… me.

"This is not the last time we are going to be together Maggie, hell, this isn't even going to be the last time tonight but Maggie I need you now. I need you like I have never needed any woman before." He looked into my eyes, waiting for an answer or reaction. I only had one. I gently placed my open mouth on his and kissed him. The kind of kiss that means something, where the world fades away and two souls find each other after years of searching. So deep and consuming that no one and nothing else matters.

When we broke for air, he looked at me and whispered "Where?" I pointed down the hall to the bedroom, I realized through all of this, I still had the wine glass in my hand. I raised the glass and smiled. I brought it to his lips and he took a sip, the whole time staring into my face. I downed the rest of the glass hoping that it would be liquid courage to face what was going to happen next, he took it and placed it on the coffee table. We stared kissing again, this time the kisses were different, like we knew each other now, like we were home.

His hands slid down my back to under my bum, he squeezed once and then lifted me up. I rapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. Just the fact that he picked me up without struggle or a tiny grunt was enough for me, I was in love.

He walked us down the hall into my bedroom while we kissed, I ran my hands through his hair, It's was so soft. As he turned the corner into my bedroom I asked him to sit on the edge so we could face each other. Really I just wanted to be on top. It was my favorite position and I wanted to see as much of him as I could. We stopped kissing for a moment and I knew what he wanted. He had been grabbing and staring at them and all night. I have to admit my boobs are not my best feature. They are big but they are also heavy. Not great when it's natural. I was nervous but it was too late now and I swore I would never be one of those girls that have sex with a shirt or bra on. I figure if I don't feel comfortable letting a guy see me nude then maybe I shouldn't let him inside me, hey but that's just me.

I reached around my back to the clasp and it sprang open, the girls wanted to meet him too. This was the one moment I wanted over. I hoped they didn't disappoint him. I looked at him and he was not looking back. When it comes to boobs, guys are all the same. Both hands were involved. Squeezing, messaging and twisting. It felt great but I did laugh a little, he looked up and smiled, I smiled back. "Men!" I said through my smile and shaking my head. He picked me up and flipped me gently on my back. He was lying on top of me leaning down to start kissing me when he looked directly into my eyes and said "No, just one man." My heart skipped a beat, literally, and before I could think of a response I replied "And just one woman" He nodded and we started kissing

I could him reach his hand down to my panties and tug on them, it took a second tug but they started to slip off. Before I knew it I could feel my leg… MOOOOMMM!

What the hell was that? I ignored it. God, he was so close, this was the moment I had been… MOM!

MOOOTTTHHHEEERRRR!

SNAP!

"Hey Mom, Gracie just puked her hotdogs up in the living room" Who is this 13 year old boy standing in the door way with his head cocked to the side and a typical pre teen face of annoyance? Granted he was cute with his blue eyes and brown hair… oh wait he's my son.

I was back to reality. I was 36 year old over weight, under appreciated, mother of 3; Margret Steward, who secretly could not stand her husband. Ok, maybe it wasn't quite a secret.

"For God Sake Patrick is it too much to ask that you guys let me have a half hour to myself?" I was sitting at the computer typing when I had been so rudely interrupted. I spun around in the broken desk chair and looked at him.

"Well, what do you want me to do? I'm not picking it up." He looked at me like I was from Mars for even considering the notion.

"Fine." Sighed with defeat and got up to go and clean my real life up. So much for Jack and Maggie tonight, romance would have to wait.

**Chapter 2**

I have been trying to write about Maggie and Jack for over a year now and I'm only about 5 chapters in. I started writing about them after a dream I had, a very "romantic" dream staring a man I had never met before. I named him Patrick Jack but everybody calls him Jack. Since the starlet of the dream was me I named her Maggie. I started by just writing the dream down because I remembered it so clearly and it had a great story. The characters just kind of grew. I was just in the middle of the 5th chapter until life and hot dogs demanded attention and stain remover. I dream about Maggie and Jack a few times a week, inspiration through dreams. I do use some of what I dream, by now Jack and I am having a full blown affair…in my dreams of course.

I bet you're wondering about Maggie, Yes Maggie is me, sort of. A younger, thinner, semi-successful version of me. She would be me if I had made different choices. Don't get me wrong I love my life, no, that's not true, I love parts of my life. My children, despite the fact they drive me to drink and on occasion I have daydreamed about putting them up for adoption…(come on, you have too,) I adore.

My husband has become a less than a favorable part of my life in resent years, he's an Ok guy I do admit but I think that's part of the problem. Everything about him is Ok. He's an OK father, an OK husband, Ok provider, Ok lover, Ok friend, Ok looking, happy with an Ok life. You couldn't really say anything bad about him but nothing really good either.

I don't think I really ever loved him though. You know the love you see in movies, read about in books. We met at our mutual friend Andy's birthday party at a bar called the Boom Boom Salon. I know cheesy name but at the time it was a really cool place to go. Drinks were cheap; it had great music and was always busy. Like I said he was Ok looking and kind of nice so I went on a few dates with him. Nothing really spectacular but no one else interested me so I thought I would just keep dating him until "the one" came along. You're probably thinking about how selfish I am but if you think about it, there's a lot of pressure for single woman. Especially if it's been a long stretch between boyfriends, which it had for me. Admit it, it's just you and me here, you've done it too. Any way, a few dates turned into a few weeks, a few weeks turned into a few months and 5 days before our first year anniversary of dating, I peed on a stick, positive.

I was 28 years old and thought that it was time. Maybe romance and stomach butterflies were only in the movies. Isn't that why those movies are so successful? Women are living out their lives through movies? When you watch a romantic movie or read a romantic book, you are not really seeing that actress or character; you're seeing her with your face. We all do it.

For a second I thought of running, just picking up and moving, no one would ever know and I wouldn't have to consider anyone else in my choices. I wouldn't have to tell him, wouldn't have to deal with a marriage proposal (which I knew would come), I felt a lot of pressure. I knew my parents would be over the moon if I married him, he was "stable and reliable" my father said, a "good guy". Much different from the string of "make my blood race and my neighbors complain" boyfriends I brought home before him. My mother would steel glances and my father would give dirty looks but they never lasted longer than dirtying my sheets and rocking my world but it was fun.

I have an inner whore and frankly I am ok with her. She and I have had some good times. Since I got married I have had to hold her back but I know past 5 beer and I am in her territory so I try to limit my indiscretions out of respect for my husband and my marriage. In 14 years I have had 2. One with a "dirty my sheets and my neighbors complain" old boyfriend I bumped into on a girls night and one with a much younger, extremely hot guy that I met again on girls night. Come to think of it Girls night is not good for me but seems to be good for my inner whore. Look, I am not proud of it or justify what I did but I do understand what men mean when they say it meant nothing, when they get caught. It doesn't mean I want the other man over my husband or that I want a divorce or even that I don't love him anymore, it means, there is a reason I did this but you don't want to know and I don't want things to change. Everything about my life is for my kids and a husband I don't really find passion or excitement with. Those 2 indiscretions were about me and me being the person I once was for 1 night, like a "time out" from life. Besides I know for a fact my husband would not want to know. He actually told me one night while we were discussing a friend's divorce. That's the way my husband is, an "everything is OK" kind of guy.

It's been about 10 years and 20 pounds since the last time I let my whore out and I can feel her getting restless, I spend a lot of time writing about Maggie and Jack to avoid her but she is starting to get a little loud. Maybe I'll see if any on the old girls want to dust off their stilettos but before that, just one more chapter...

**Chapter 3**

The rest of the night was a blur. A dream, I had never made love like that before, with such heat, kissing every inch, no inhabitations, it's like we had been making love together for years, knew each others rhythm and likes without even asking but with the passion of new lovers.

Now I have been told in the past that I am a terrible sleeper, I toss and turn, speak in my sleep, snore like a bear and yes, drool. Sleeping Beauty I am not. I can confirm this because on many an occasion I have woke up to a wet pillow and all the blankets on the floor. So when one eye opened around 8 am I lay there for a while worried what he would think about sleeping next to a bear. Last night came back to me in flashes, his beautiful body, how it felt when he was inside me and the look of pleasure on his face, just the fact that I gave him that look was hard to believe, but I did.

Then it came, the self doubt. You know the feeling; it comes over you like thick, slow moving goo being poured through out your body. It starts in your throat and moves down until it has filled your belly and covered any good or positive feeling about a situation. Then the negative thoughts start: The awkward way he's going to bend over and pick up his pants, put then on the whole time he's trying to think of an excuse why he has to leave right away, this is worse, I WORK WITH HIM! What have I done? Last night I was caught up in a hope, a desperate hope that he really wanted me, that we could be real. Now it's the next morning and I am clear headed. Oh God I am starting to panick… we said things each other wanted to hear, it wasn't real, well, what I said was but I knew what he said was a "in the moment thing". I know it. Oh God, I can feel him, he's still in the bed with me, I wish I could have just woken up and he would be gone with a lame note on the pillow next to me saying "last night was great, call you soon". Then he wouldn't call and we could forget the whole thing happened but now we have to go through the "morning thing". I can feel him moving… I think he's staring to wake up. I am on my side with my back to him, I can't see, maybe I could pretend I am sleeping and roll over to see what he is doing through tiny eye slits, still or I could just pretend to sleep and hope he just leaves.

Then it happened, he rolled towards me and threw his arm around my waist and pulled me into him, then he kissed my neck. Just a quick, simple kiss. I felt his breath on my shoulder and I lay there stunned. All the negative thoughts and voices in my head were stunned into silence and I was left there, with him. I allowed myself to be in the moment, to feel safe, content and his. One quick little comment slipped in, I heard "enjoy it, it won't last". I let in go and closed my eyes. For right now, in this moment, I will be his.

Two hours later I woke up and was alone in bed. I sat up and quickly remembered I was nude. I could tell I'm a mess. My dark curly hair is in my face and I can taste the morning breath. First thing I need to do is hit the bathroom. I don't know if he is still here but if he is I need to at least brush the funk out of my mouth. I got up and grabbed the first thing I found and threw it on, seeing the glory that is me in soft, getting lucky, night candle lighting is different than harsh morning after light.

Royal Blue t-shirt and white yoga capis, fine, that will do. I threw the t-shirt on and caught a whiff on myself, nice, morning breath and B.O. I need the bathroom and fast. I scrambled in to the yoga pants and scurried out of the bedroom and down the hall hoping not to see him, I still don't even know if he is here or not. My question was answered when I reached for the door handle and the door flew open before I even touched it. It was hit with a wave of heat and steam. There he was: wet, shinny, clean… it was too much, like in slow motion, he swung his head back and his sexy blond curls flipped out of his face into a perfect arrangement. I sighed out loud like you would when you see Ryan Gossling, Alexander Skarsgård or Channing Tatum, in the movies. It just involuntarily happens.

Everything went silent and as the steam started to clear I could see he was saying something to me but in my dreamy staring trance, I couldn't make it out.

"hum? Sorry what?" I lazily sighed more than spoke the words.

"Miss…"

He put his arms on my shoulders and gently shook me, I was still under a trance from the hot wet Jack look.

"Miss" he said shaking me a little harder this time.

"this is the last stop" What is he talking ab...OH MY GOD I AM ASLEEP ON THE BUS!

25


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